Lifestyle Factors to Be Evaluated By a Mediator during a Child Custody Trial

Divorce DecreeDuring divorces, children are the most valuable “asset” to be divided between the parents. Most of the times, both parents want the custody, but only one of them can be the primary parent and hold the full custody, while the other one receives visiting rights and sleepover time.

The first phase of the custody trial is the mediation, which is followed by an evaluation, if the matter is not solved by the mediator.

The goal of meditation

The mediator’s goal is to come up with the best parenting option for the child, along with both parents. For this, he or she is going to ask questions on each parent’s background, as well as the common life, to be able to understand each spouse better. Your lawyer can inform you about the general questions, which regard how you’ve met your partner, when and how many times have you slip up, when were you married and if you’ve ever turned to a marriage counselor.

The relationship dynamics is also a point of interest for the mediator, as he or she is going to ask about any signs of domestic abuse, drug or alcohol abuse.

The bad signs a mediator is looking for

The mediator will look for certain bad signs in both parents, things which might hinder the proper development of the child or children, as all minor siblings are taken into consideration.

It’s bad for a parent to overlook the child’s interest and insist on putting the other parent in a bad posture, especially in front of the child.

The mediator will look for inability to see things in perspective or provide reliable dates about marriage, relationships and parenting. If you can’t state the real problems of the relationship and why they lead to divorce, it will be a red flag for the mediator.

Manage strong emotions

Before meeting the mediator you must be able to control strong emotions, even if the discussion is not going the way you want. You can prepare for the mediator with your lawyer, so when the time comes, you won’t cry, scream or do anything which can disturb the meeting.

Your perspective upon the other parent is very important; you have to be able to recognize the positive traits in your former partner and his or her capacity to improve. Always talk about the present and focus on what you are doing now to improve yourself.

Parenting divided by two

Coming up with a suitable parenting plan is the final stage of the mediation, so you need to provide examples of plans and how do you think they can be implemented. Talk about how each parenting plan can help your child and be ready to accept the facts. If you finish work at 5 PM you can’t state you can take care of the child starting at 2 PM, for example.

The mediation might be freighting when you might lose your kids, but as long as you take it with calm and provide detailed information you can take the best decision for your child.